For those who are unfamiliar with the concept of a hitchhiker’s guide, or who do not understand sarcasm, the primary purpose of this website is humor or parody. While the information here can and should be informative, it should also be taken with a rather large grain of salt.

    Should you find anything in this guide that you disagree with or in fact know to be false, please do remember the golden rule first laid out in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, “The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”


In the Beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. A short time thereafter, He created man, or humanity, or persons, whichever inoffensive term may be in vogue at the time of your reading of this. This was at first regarded as good, but has since become the source of much agony and disappointment.

Mankind, having nothing better to do with itself over the millenia spanning the gap between the beginning of the world and its inevitable end, has busied himself with much discourse and debate over how we began, when said beginning was, if there really was a beginning, who this “God” is, where He came from, whether or not He actually exists and if He does, what kind of nature He has, whether or not mankind was in fact created, what constitutes the heavens and whether or not the Earth is an illusion.

God has not been entirely silent, but man has also not been entirely attentive. Some would speculate man has been downright rebellious or that God has been purposefully vague. At any rate, prophets have been sent, scrolls have been written, and at a significant point in human history, man’s creator stepped out of the heavens and entered the Earth as humanity… and humanity had him killed. What’s more this absurdity was part of God’s plan, and to prove He was not entirely silent and that man was not particularly attentive, God tolerated death for three days, give or take a day.

After this, He spent the next 40 days snapping his fingers and getting his 12 ragtag students to pay attention, before leaving again to rule the universe, leaving His message in the hands of several fisherman, a tax collector, a guy who sat under a tree and a long winded ex-priest who devoted the early part of his life to the slaughter of the followers of the aforementioned 12 ragtag students.

In the 2,000 or so years (give or take a decade or two) since, we are just as confused as those 12 ragtag students. Hopefully, this guide will be of some small service to all who find themselves hitchhiking through the strangeness and confusion that is now known as Christianity.

There are 34 entries so far in this guide.

Jump to 9, B, C, D, E, F, G, I, J, L, M, N, P, Q, S, T, W

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