For those who are unfamiliar with the concept of a hitchhiker’s guide, or who do not understand sarcasm, the primary purpose of this website is humor or parody. While the information here can and should be informative, it should also be taken with a rather large grain of salt.

    Should you find anything in this guide that you disagree with or in fact know to be false, please do remember the golden rule first laid out in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, “The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.”


When Jesus of Nazareth walked this earth, he often spoke of people who were blessed. His list of those who were—or would be—blessed, included the meek, the poor in spirit and those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. Modern Christianity often despises these people, choosing instead to hijack the term Jesus bestowed on them for their own purposes.

A translation for today’s Christians might be “Materialistic” or “Greedy” as in, “I’m so blessed (materialistic) to have this million dollar house and gas-guzzling SUV.” The word “blessed” works in modern culture as God’s stamp of approval on the Christian’s greed. Indeed, if God were to actually bless half of His self-proclaimed followers using the criteria of the word in Christ’s Sermon on the Mount, they would cry foul and convert to Shintoism.


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